who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
