He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I don't deserve a penis
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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