Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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