Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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