good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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