Midget sex pt 2 tonight
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
