Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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