his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He did a backflip because drugs
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
