Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I am naked and annoyed.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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