I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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