Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
