this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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