I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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