A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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