I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
The air taste purple.
Randomize
