So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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