you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
