So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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