is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
