Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
