I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
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Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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