He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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