Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
