you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
