i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
