I wish I could teleport
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
