Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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