if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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