Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Fuck appropriateness.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You can't just leave with hair like that
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
