I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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