dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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