I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
