i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
