i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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