I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
