I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
