wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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