I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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