After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize