I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
