Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
