he wants to bone in the snuggie
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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