dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
