So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize