oh god the rape fog is back!
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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