dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Farmville is her only friend.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
