So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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