i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
