remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
