Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
