sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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