I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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