i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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