Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
