The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
