It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
