1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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